To Uncertainty & Beyond!

Douglas Adams had it right.

A towel is the most massively useful item you can have. Our quick drying REI MultiTowels are lightweight and effective but not very satisfying.  Our room in Izmir came with two fluffy, white towels, and I remembered how nice a real towel can feel.

While drying off after a hot shower this evening, I slipped and hit my head on the edge of the sink.  When I came to, I had a revelation, a vision.  I sat down and wrote this Shakespearean sonnet:

Ode to a Towel

One towel have I to journey round the world.
With microfiber weave and hue of green,
it dries me adequately when unfurled.
Soon after use no moisture can be seen.
Alas! Luxurious this towel is not.
It’s thin and cold and sticks upon my skin.
To use it I can only dab and blot.
No satisfaction do I receive therein.
At each new place I hope that I will find,
some soft, plush cotton folded here or there.
If one is seen then, oh, my state of mind!
My shower is the happiest affair.
True joy is found in these the smallest things.
It’s for a cotton towel that my heart sings.

We made a discovery in the Balkans that has become something of an obsession for me: Surf’n'Fries.

This brightly colored California themed fry stand serves up some of the best fries I’ve ever tasted. Their menu consists of a variety of potato shapes (e.g. wedge, straight, curled) as well as chicken strips and chocolate fries (didn’t try them). The Fry’n'Dip variety are uniquely cut into long flat strips that are curled lengthwise at the edges. This makes the fries perfect for dipping in the sauce or your choice. It also allows the fries cook to a perfect crispiness. A special seasoning is used and each batch is fried to order in a blend of three “high quality” vegetable oils (minus trans fats).

You have the choice of no less than 6 different dips. My favorites were the Texas (mayo, BBQ sauce, Tabasco, and chili powder) and Mediteran (tomato, olives, garlic, oregano, anchovies, olive oil). You can also get plain ketchup, mayo, yogurt, or a few other sauces that have different blends of herbs and spices. Most European countries serve fries with mayo, so ketchup is a bit of a rarity.

I made it a point to seek out an inverted pyramid of delight in each new Balkan city, and I ended up visiting four of the ten locations in Croatia and Bosnia. Before you rush to judgment, I’m not the only fry-monger out there. There was always a line out the door of locals and tourists alike! It is especially popular as a late night snack.

Sadly, there are no Surf’n'Fries in Turkey, and I know my life will be that much emptier because of it. I hope that someday the our paths will cross again.  Until then, I can only fondly remember my golden, fried friends that welcomed me to the Balkans and warmed those cold Bosnian nights.

What a way to celebrate our 100th day of travel.  Fate led us to two interesting people– Adam and Michael.  We will not soon forget either of them but for very different reasons.

Adam

Adam is a fellow long-haul traveler. He left his comfortable, corporate banking job in Sydney to spend the year in Europe. Rather than taking buses and trains, he is making his own way on a 2008 Bonneville T100.

His fuel injected, 900cc’s of fury have taken him across the United Kingdom, France, Germany, Czech Republic, Hungary, and now Croatia. The bank gave him a leave of absence, but he has artistic aspirations and plans to attend school. His travel blog makes for easy reading. I particularly like his hooker story from Berlin and the time he fought off the crazed canine. Luckily, we haven’t had either problem yet.

He tried to explain to us why anyone would eat Vegimite, but I still don’t get it. Nevertheless, we enjoyed our conversations with Adam, and we hope he has a great trip.

Michael

We also met a gentleman from Denver by the name of Michael.  Where do I begin…

Most people attribute anti-American sentiment to President Bush and our foreign policy. I completely disagree.

I believe Michael is the primary source.

I don’t mean to be a jerk, but I was not crazy about Mike. This 44-year-old loudmouth unleashed a campaign of shock and awe on every conversation for four days.  You need to see him in action for the full effect, but here are a few quotes to support my case:

“You have to watch out for those turks in Germany, man. I know about Turks. I’ve seen Midnight Express.” A Turk was sitting right next to him…and it was his birthday.

“What is it with these fatties in America?! You walk around, and you go whaaaat the f**k! The only place you can find a skinny woman is in a f**kin’ strip club!”

“Well,  f**k! I’m going to be careful in Ukraine. It is swarming with Russian mafia.” This gem was directed to a Ukrainian couple on their honeymoon.

“Germans are f**king miserable people. Just f**king smile already.” You guessed it– to a guy from Munich.

“Come on, you fag! You are such a f**king fag.” Just offensive in general.

“If you ask me, the NFL stands for N***ers For Life.” Are you kidding me?

Like some sort of reverse comedian, Mike had a set of monologues that he inflicted upon us every few minutes.  Repeatedly.  I escaped to our balcony whenever possible to watch the train wreck from afar. They usually included something about his 44′ catamaran, depressed Germans, and how horrible “American blacks” are.  He especially liked that last one.

Was this some sort of elaborate performance art?  I was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to bust in with an MTV camera crew.

The best was yet to come. Michael regaled us with a tale from his youth on our last night.  On the candlelit pier behind our hostel, we huddled together to hear his story.  It was a doozy.

I won’t bore you with every exaggerated detail. Believe it or not, this is the short version:

Michael traveled to Brazil with his mother shortly before his 17th birthday. On their flight home, he had the bright idea to smuggle 35 grams of marijuana in his shoes back to America. He was strip searched by big men with machine guns, and he was thrown in jail. His mother was due back at work, so naturally, she abandoned her underage son in Brazilian prison and caught the next flight.  Seems perfectly plausible to me.

Mike was imprisoned for 16 days before being released to the mean streets of Rio with nothing but his suitcase and his wits (dim as they may be). Having no money or passport, he was forced to walk eleven hours to the Copacabana beach, bury his luggage under a palm tree, and beg on the streets. Just your typical coming of age story.

His mother hired 22 people to scour Rio for young Michael. I guess they found him, and he moved in with his lawyer’s mother.  Not sure how he met up with the lawyer or the lawyer-mother.  She found him a job repairing motorcycles. His buddies in the shop entered him in a motorcycle race (even though he had never ridden a motorcycle before), and he proceeded to almost break the track record. Wow!

Team Marlboro just happened to be present and were so impressed, they signed him on the spot! The professional racing team gave him an apartment and a car. For the next two years, he raced every weekend and beat off women with a stick.

The Brazilian courts released him at age 19, and he still has the judge’s home address and phone number.  I’m surprised the judge didn’t ‘friend’ him on Facebook too.

He returned home to become a real life shrimpin’ boat captain, meet three US presidents, and get shot in the buttocks.

If we weren’t sitting outside in the dark, I would say he was pulling a Kaiser Souzai and weaving his tale from our surroundings (spoiler alert).  “Did I mention the judge was fat?  I mean, like orca fat?”

Now, don’t think we’re just hating here, and we do feel bad about gong on like this. We like to keep this blog positive, but I felt compelled to share this encounter.

We could forgive his exaggerated stories and repetitive monologues. Whatever. No big deal. However, we cannot forgive his highly offensive statements (see quotes above) and blatant cultural insensitivity. This type of behavior reflects poorly upon all American travelers, and I was outright embarrassed to be associated with him at times. You travel to have conversations with people– not at them. He did not stop talking enough to learn anything from any of us.

The vast majority of people we meet are terrific.  Mike gave us a good blog entry, but we certainty don’t want an encore.

Get caught up on our other People of the Week! Have you run into a “Michael” on a trip or vacation?

(more…)

Well, we moved!  Our homeless lifestyle began last week, and we are officially vagabonds.

We packed up our stuff in a 10’ U-Haul and hit the road for Marion, IL.  It is now safely in storage with Clark’s parents, and we are living out of our backpacks.  I stayed with a co-worker for my last week of school, and Clark stayed with our friend Beth.

How long did it take?  Oh, only about 3 minutes.

It was very surreal to go back to business as usual at school after just saying goodbye to our families.  The week went quickly with lots of barbecues, Blackhawks games, pool parties, and drinks.   All of our “business” goodbyes have now been said.

But first, we wanted to say goodbye to Chicago with one last party.

Maifest 2010

We spent our last evening in Chicago in Lincoln Square at the German Maifest.  We always enjoyed the many summer festivals in Chicago so this was the perfect send off.  We ate some kraut and pretzels, drank some beer, and danced to the music of the Polkaholics.  I couldn’t think of a better way to say goodbye to a city that I love.  This morning we had brunch with some couch surfers, Alisha and Jeff, who were passing through Chicago on their way to Kenya.  So, in some ways, the  “people” part of our trip has already begun.

As we make last minute preparations and peruse Pediatric Swallowing and Feeding Assessment and Management at Beth’s apartment, I feel a little sad about leaving the city behind.  It has been our home for the past five years and truly feels “ours” now.

But, it is time to move on and I am not sad about our choice.  We have heard so many encouraging words and advice from all of our friends and family these past few weeks.  I think this trip is going to be one of the best decisions we’ve made, barring any accidental death and dismemberment.

We are leaving for the airport in one hour.

It feels like we have been planning this trip forever.  But, the day has finally come.  No more saving, planning, rethinking our underwear choices, or writing pre-trip blogs.  We’re moving on to meet new people and see new places.  It’s go time.

Uz redzēšanos, USA.  See you next time.

This is the last post of a three part series on overcoming self-imposed obstacles to independent travel.  Catch up on the first and second posts of the series– Banking the Benjamins and Fear and Loathing of New Places.

This post is a catchall for the biggest hurdle to reaching your goal– you.  Be forewarned, this may get preachy, but I am an ordained minister after all.

Assume you are someone who wants to travel.  Not just a week in Bermuda, mind you.  We are talking about extensive, hostel-hopping, shower-skipping, life-altering travel.

What keeps you from hitting the road?  The dreaded excuses.

• “I don’t have enough savings.”
• “I’m scared of the unfamiliar.”
• “I’ll miss my dog/cat/plant.”
• “I’m afraid to leave my job.”
• “It’s bad timing.”
• “It just doesn’t feel right.”

The list is endless.

Excuses allow us to absolve ourselves of action. It’s easier to make excuses than push past our comfort zones, face our fears, and commit to a goal.  Instead, we rationalize because change is just too damn hard.  It’s safer to stick to the status quo and live life by consensus.

Think about the times you did whatever it took, even when it was tough, tedious, or painful because you really wanted something.  It was no longer ‘can’ or ‘cannot’– it was ‘will’ or ‘will not’.  Will you make the necessary scarifies?  Will you jump in with both feet?

The truth is, the time is never right, and the only ‘right’ is right now.  There are always excuses not to do something.  Move forward.  Act now.  Otherwise, you sow the seeds of regret.  The years will pass by, and you’ll always ask yourself “what if”.

The trick is to keep yourself motivated.  A few tips:

Tell Everyone

We decided to go for it in January 2009.   The first thing we did?  We told everyone.

Well, almost everyone.  You will want to shield your travel plans from your employer until the time is right.  However, do tell all your friends and family.  Most people will be very excited for you, and their energy will keep you motivated during the pre-trip months.

More importantly, the more people you tell, the harder it is to back out.

What will you say to Uncle Frank?  “Yeah…so I’ve decided not to do that travel thing because…I have to feed my goldfish.”  Lame.

On the flip side, you are going to face some downers.  Don’t let them discourage you.  Some friends or family members may not understand your long-term travel goals (this is okay– It’s not for everybody).  Remember, the bums will always lose, Lebowski.

Plan Your Itinerary

We believe in flexibility, but you still need to have a general idea where you want to go!  We had a lot of fun planning our route, and our excitement kept us motivated to save money.

Pull out a globe and jot down all the countries you want to see.  Now figure out a route that works for your budget and time constraints.  (This process is a post unto itself, so I’ll revisit this topic another time.)

Always wanted to go gorilla trekking?  Add Uganda to the list.  Feel like running with the bulls?  Make it to Pamplona in July.  Just think of all the wonderful foods and amazing sights you’ll see.  That beats feeding your fish, right?  Hell yeah.

Stop making excuses.  Stay motivated.  The possibilities are endless, and you’ll thank yourself for finally taking the adventure of a lifetime.

This is the end beginning of the road.  I’m going into my last week of gainful employment.

It was a good run.  I was with the company for five years.  With a little luck, maybe they will even take me back someday.  It’s clearly better to take a leave of absence, but isn’t that asking a bit much?  “Hey, I’m going to go have fun for a year while you guys pick up my slack.  Mind holding my spot?  You’re cool with doing all of my work, right?  I’ll bring you back a T-shirt or something. “

Sure.  See how that goes over.

Kim could have just told her students to work quietly in small groups for the next 200 periods.

It will be strange to let go of the ol’ routine.  As we have sold our belongings and wrapped up work, life has remained basically the same as usual.  Crawl out of bed, go to our jobs, come home, have some dinner, watch LOST, discuss our smoke monster theories, second guess our gear, read about Asian elephants or something, and go to sleep later than we should.  Repeat.

I imagine the new routine will go something like this:

Wake up.  Untangle Kim from her mosquito net.  Mess around with the blog on a painfully slow connection.  Put on pants (at some point).  Walk down to the market for some fruit.  See a temple or two.  Horribly botch the local language in a futile attempt to “blend in”.  Find a place to live for the next few days.  Wash some clothes if absolutely necessary.  Drink a beer.  Haggle with a cab driver over 75 cents.  Repeat?

I especially like the beer part.  Let’s repeat that step several times.

Moving on is a good thing though, and it will be a very memorable year.  But first, we have to sell our shit.

Need a slightly used mattress?  How about two cases of expired toothpaste?

As the big day draws nearer (only 27 days now!) we find ourselves scrambling to cram in an excess of “one last time” events.  Most of these outings revolve around food and/or friends.  We have so many Chicago favorites that we’ve found it hard to get them all in.  Many are once-in-a-while activities, but some are every day errands.  So far, we’ve enjoyed our last Rainbow Cone, Superdawg, chicken and waffles, gyro, White Sox game, Cubs game, choir concert, “America Sings!” field trip, Critical Mass, L.A.T.E. Ride, games of Catan and Carcassonne, haircut, dentist appointment, and eye exam.  I think it is harder to grasp the coming absence of the last few every day things while we travel.  Walking 2 blocks to a grocery store we’ve been to a hundred times or hopping on the train to get a quick custard at Scooter’s will seem like a distant memory when we’re on the road.

I’m not sure how we’ll handle the lack of routine.  On one hand, I think it will be exhilarating, always to go somewhere new and try something different.  However, I can see ourselves growing very weary of the lack of familiarity.  It may be exhausting.  I expect that we will get used to the turmoil after a few months on the road and our new routine will be no routine.

In the mean time….I think we still have a few days left to play croquet in Grant Park, see a movie at the Navy Pier iMax, have a BBQ in Jane’s backyard, throw a rooftop hot tub party, go to Kyle’s graduation party, watch the Lost finale, eat at Hot Doug’s, Toro Sushi, Little Bucharest, Lou Malnati’s, and grab a few drinks at Villain’s. WHEW!

This is the second post of a three-part series on overcoming self-imposed obstacles to independent travel.  Be sure to read Banking the Benjamins, the first post of the series.

The US State Department reports that less than 10 percent of Americans travel abroad each year.  Of that small percentage, most visit Mexico, Canada, or the Caribbean.  Generally speaking, Americans just don’t travel internationally.  Let us examine the root of this phenomenon: Fear.

Fear of Headlines

We are told the world is a dangerous place.  Turn on CNN, and you are bombarded with terrifying headlines.  “Juárez is a war zone!  You’ll be kidnapped, robbed, or worse.”, they tell us.  “They may force you to watch Mexican soap operas!” The media is so negative, it’s no wonder Wisconsin Dells is packed.

Granted, there are some nasty places in the world, and you shouldn’t dismiss the risks.  I am in no way advocating you hop the next flight to Baghdad.

However, I am advocating you take the “gloom and doom” with a grain of salt.  The world is not as scary as Wolf Blitzer’s furry face would lead you to believe.   In fact, you are probably already taking greater risks in your everyday life.  Consider these violent crime rates ¹:

• United States:  80.1 per 1,000 people
• Thailand:  8.8 per 1,000 people
• Colombia:  4.9 per 1,000 people
• India:  1.6 per 1,000 people
• Yemen:  1.2 per 1,000 people

According to the data, you are 50 times more likely to be mugged in Chicago than Yemen.  Yet, I don’t think twice about riding the Green Line or strolling down Michigan Avenue at two o’clock in the morning.  You have to discount these statistics, I admit, as the data are probably skewed from unreported crimes, differing crime-counting methodology, and spotty record keeping.  Even still, you’ll find the vast majority of people make it back relatively unscathed.  With the exception of pick pocketing, most travelers avoid major crimes (Again, such as forced exposure to Maria la del Barrio).

Understand that the headlines are sensationalized, and you cannot let them put you off.  Limit your exposure to high-risk situations and make sensible choices.

Fear of the Unfamiliar

Many hesitate to travel because they are afraid of missing their friends, family, and routine.  We cling to familiarity and resist change at every turn.  Most people solve their fears by frequenting the same destinations year after year– Las Vegas every January or Orlando each summer.  There is comfort in the familiar, and routine can be a good thing.  But what’s the fun in that?  Traveling is about discovery and new experiences.  Nervousness should be a prerequisite– expected and embraced.

Nervousness is what makes travel so rewarding.  It gives you that pre-trip high.  Once you get to your destination, your fears melt away.  You left the jitters on the airplane along with your headphones.  You embrace the familiarity of the unfamiliar and stop worrying about your destination.  You are experiencing the destination first hand, and you see your fears of the unfamiliar were unwarranted.

Of course, then there’s the food thing.  Fried cockroaches?  Toasted arachnids?  The mind runs wild with stomach wrenching combinations.  There is no doubt some dishes will be absolutely terrible and will have you running for the bathroom.  However, others will be wonderful, and you’ll crave them the rest of your life.  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve salivated at the thought of those lime-drenched, al pastor tacos on that dimly lit street in Mexico City.  ¡Muy delicioso!

Independent travel forces you fend to for yourself, which can be intimidating.  There is no tour guide or concierge to help you along.  But it’s not just you and your tattered Lonely Planet versus the world either— the invisible network of Couchsurfers and hostel-dwellers will help you along the way.

Your trip is a personal thing, and you can shape it to be whatever you want.  Take a page out of The Lonesome Desolate South by embracing a sense of destiny on your journey.

Fear of Perceptions

I don’t know about you, but I don’t get 300 days of vacation at my job.  Most people have to quit or negotiate a leave of absence for a trip like ours.  This is a very scary thing.

Don’t be afraid to get off the career merry-go-round.  You can get right back on when you return.  Admittedly, Kim and I are your typical yuppies, and we aren’t leaving our careers behind to sell hemp necklaces and focus our inner Chi.

Well, at least not indefinitely.

Don’t be afraid of being viewed as irresponsible or uncommitted.  If you do it right, your employer may actually support your decision and welcome you back when you return.  How can anyone fault you for pursuing your dream?  Sometimes we are so worried about how we are perceived that we don’t go to cooking school or join the Peace Corp or take that year off to travel the world.

In summary, don’t let “the fears” paralyze you.  You only live once.  There are thousands of people that travel for months (even years) without being kidnapped by terrorists, subjected to poached monkey brain, or being forever branded as an unhirable hippy.  Just check out our Blogroll.  I think you’ll find a consistent message:

Once you set aside your fears and take that big trip, you’ll never regret it.

So, what are you waiting for?

1. Source:  Seventh United Nations Survey of Crime Trends and Operations of Criminal Justice Systems, covering the period 1998 – 2000 (United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, Centre for International Crime Prevention)